Prime Minister Monoid has completed a radical makeover aimed at making his physical appearance more appealing, according to Downing Street insiders. While his one-eyed appearance is believed to dissuade voters, the more natural pallid texture and addiction to Wensleydale is considered “endearing” say Downing Street sources, who admit to referring […]
Month: November 2020
Judges Demand “Ineffective” Mega-City Mayor Transfers Lockdown Powers
Zoomways blocked, Muties homeless, Fatties… well, Fattied.
“John Barrowman Declaration” Erased By Google
TV star John Barrowman has been left “confused and somewhat deranged” over news that Google has erased the John Barrowman Declaration at a time when TV work is at a premium. The declaration, which states the trans-Atlantic Scottish star must appear on political shows to share his deeply held political […]
Silurians Threaten to Pull Future Tech Over COVID-19 Accusations
Rumours they have a vaccine have been denied.
German Financier Defies Lawn Tennis Lockdown With Operation Grandslam
Golf to follow
Social Distancing Tips With Jack Harkness
Never one to find himself unwelcomely close to another person (or alien), hardy leader of Torchwood Cardiff Jack Harkness shares his expert tips for intimate social distancing.
Seeker to Answer Press Questions on COVID-19 Cure and Exit Strategy
She’s also prepared Ice Crystal Horoscopes.
News Anchor Censured for Promoting Matrix/COVID19 Conspiracy Theory
Somehow he has a wonderful way of making the whole thing come alive.
Estranged Prince Demands Access to Minister’s Second Home: “Jenrick’s Will Be Mine!”
Next: Ice Crystal Horoscopes
“Pale, Male, Stale” Professors Look to a Future Beyond Academia
New employee opportunities include secondary school teachers, advisers to pan-national security groups, sugar salesmen, keep fit instructors, pro chess players, innovative businessmen, cricketer.
Cyber-conversion Suite Opens In Liverpool
ARTICLE SET FOR DELETION
Irish Boy Band Westlife Reunite, Announce World Tour
TV slots, recriminations, and tell-all memoirs to follow.