OTHER NEWS: ELEVATOR REPAIRED
A white witch has issued a warning sent from beyond the grave to Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Found in her nightclothes by family in a petrified state, Martha Tyler (105), of Fetchborough, Hampshire, claimed that she had been visited by a “wicked old devil” that was “hungry for [her] […]
Federation Supreme Commander Servalan has issued a stark warning to the US following its democratic discomfiture noting that transparency must be “maintained” and that “there will be no second chances.”
PM announces kids should “Eat my sausage fingers.” At this point it is unclear whether PM has cleaned his nails. More to follow after breakfast.
Efforts made to overcome “nonsense” results. More to follow very soon indeed.
More #USAElections2020 news to follow. Sorry.
Georgian National Ballet to follow
BITCH FIGHT TO FOLLOW
The Great Healer of Necros has announced an impending end to famine with the unveiling of Necrosteak. MUTATIONS TO FOLLOW
Eight-legs bad, decree indecisive gang of retired scientists with remarkable financial portfolios. More to follow
Controversial regeneration plan blocked. More to follow
Staying Alive no longer a problem. More to follow.