Accusations system is “too complicated” batted away. Following direct questioning, Sol3 has learned that along with 4000 maximum spectators for football, cricket restrictions have been lifted. The rules are as follows: Cricket isn’t banned unless you’re from the north and have a note from matron. If attending, sit next to […]
In wholly unrelated news, John Barrowman guest stars in the Christmas Doctor Who, Revolution of the Daleks.
Plagued by reports of ill-health, John Lumic, speaking from his airship above his adopted home country, announced that his teams have developed a COVID vaccine – available from today. In a brief announcement, Lumic’s automaton PA outlined the details of the vaccine, before handing over the visibly tired businessman. “I […]
Current champion President Chop Suey will combat challenger President John Smith as the final ticket of a full event on Karn tonight. Highlights in the run-up to the main event include fire eating by the Sisterhood of Karn, an open house at Condo’s Condo, and a violin recital by Mehendri […]
Theological college reports surge in applications from Equity members. NEXT: Wolves are running out of time to avoid relegation battle, says ex-captain.
Independent enquiry clears controversial politician, Home Office civil servants left “feeling vulnerable.”
Controversial host expected to quiz Lizard Person on COVID-19 claims as it’s all he ever fucking bangs on about.
Magnetic zone known as “the Roth” believed to have crashed their spaceship on the planet Karn. Rescue plans at early stage. MORE TO FOLLOW
In other news: did COVID-19 come from the stars?
Fyffe tour dates confirmed.
Gambling tale of woe to follow
A breed of alien mushroom has been identified as the cause of Brexit, the 2016 election of Donald Trump, and comedian Jim Davidson. To find out more you simply cannot miss the no-doubt inspiring and life-affirming event “Othering Mushrooms: Migratism and its racist entanglements in the Brexit campaign” with Dr […]